People write less and less these days and the writing that many people do is often confined to text messages and emails. The former has its own characteristics and ‘rules’ and these are often very far removed from any formal writing. The latter often encourages a very informal style and many people take pleasure in avoiding the use of capital letters and most punctuation rules altogether. Whilst we would have received letters from friends in the past, today we rarely receive a letter from a friend through the post.

However, we do still write from time to time.

• occasional letters to friends
• love letters (if we’re lucky!)
• letters to the bank manager (when we’re not so lucky!)
• letters to our mum
• application letters

Some of us write for other reasons too, often related to work:

• work reports
• project proposals
• recommendations
• project assessments
• sets of instructions

Occasionally, some of us write for our own pleasure:

• short stories
• poems
• novels
• an autobiography
• the history of our town

Is essay writing more difficult than other forms of writing? Not necessarily more difficult, but certainly different! Essay writing for an academic course is certainly very different from many other forms of writing and in some ways it is more difficult because it has to follow a precise set of formal rules.

Complete Task 3 and then look at the feedback section.

Task

List down the reasons why you think academic writing might be more difficult than other types of writing.

Notes on Task

• We are writing about subjects that we don’t know very much about. We are in fact writing in order to learn. Our aim is to learn more about our subject and our essay demonstrates what we have learnt.
• We have to be very precise in what we say in an essay. We can’t waffle!
• We have to refer to the writing of other writers.
• We have to build up an argument in our essay.
• The essay must be logical and supported with supporting evidence from other sources.
• Essay questions are sometimes difficult to understand. They can be complex and demanding.
• We are sometimes not quite sure about the audience……the reader.
• We get marked on our essays!

You may have thought of some important points that we have not included in our list. Which do you think are the most important points?

You might think this is a surprising question but in fact many students find it quite difficult to decide where to end a group of words with a full stop. In fact, it’s not a very easy thing to define a sentence. Many grammarians have tried but there is some disagreement about precisely what a sentence is. That need not worry us too much here because we only have to consider what a sentence is in practical terms in our academic essays.

So what, in practical terms, is a sentence? Well, a written sentence should have certain characteristics:

• a capital letter at the beginning
• a full-stop at the end
• a subject (who or what the sentence is about)
• a verb (that tells you what’s happening)
• and, finally, many people say that it should express ‘a single thought’

There are a few other helpful points to remember about a sentence:

• a sentence can be long or short
• it can be very simple or very complex
• a sentence can be broken up with commas, semi-colons, colons, dashes and so on

Have a look at the examples below. Are they sentences? If so, what type of sentences?

This bill is now due for payment.

Do you support experiments on animals?

Do not go beyond this point.

Blair must go!

No doubt you will recognise that one is a statement, one a question; one is an instruction (or command) and one is an exclamation. We can subdivide sentences into many different types but perhaps the most important point to consider at this stage is this: can we be sure that a collection of words is actually a sentence?

Have a look at the examples below. Are they all sentences or are they parts of sentences i.e. fragments?

Task

Are these sentences? Decide for yourself and then check the notes at the end of this unit (Feedback).

• Did the secretary tell you?
• What a noise they were making!
• And close the door when you go out!
• But he never heard the reply.
• But the summer was lovely that year.
• Because I was doing your shopping.
• Because of the heavy rain this year, Wimbledon has been postponed.
• A long dark shape, with a short white tail.
• Place your baggage here.
• That’s amazing!
• The central character represents darkness and evil that can be found in our society she exhibits no kindness or generosity of any sort.
• Foreign direct investment can be an effective and quick way for a developing country to build up its locally-based companies however it is not the only way.

Notes on Task

• Did the secretary tell you? It’s a question and it’s also a sentence.
• What a noise they were making! It’s an exclamation and it’s a sentence.
• And close the door when you go out! It’s a single thought so in that way it’s a sentence. It’s certainly a sentence without the ‘and’ but, as it stands, it’s not a very good one because it begins with the linking word ‘and’ which is not a very suitable word to start a sentence.
• But he never heard the reply. Again, take away the ‘but’ and there is no question, but the word ‘but’ is a linking word and not very suitable to start a sentence, so it’s not a very good sentence.
• But the summer was lovely that year. This is rather a poetic sentence even if it does start with ‘but’.
• Because I was doing your shopping. ‘Because’ is another word that you have to be careful about when starting sentences. This would not be regarded as a good written sentence as it should be linked to a clause before the word’ because’.
• Because of the heavy rain this year, Wimbledon has been postponed. Here the use of ‘because’ is acceptable as it provides a reason for the postponement.
• A long dark shape, with a short white tail. Definitely not a sentence because it doesn’t have a verb.
• Place your baggage here. An instruction and a sentence.
• That’s amazing! An exclamation, and a very short sentence.
• The central character represents darkness and evil that can be found in our society she exhibits no kindness or generosity of any sort. This section should be a separate sentence: She exhibits no kindness or generosity of any sort
• Foreign direct investment can be an effective and quick way for a developing country to build up its locally-based companies however it is not the only way. This part should be a separate sentence: However, it is not the only way.

What is a phrase?

Phrases are parts of sentences and they do not have a verb that has a tense.

……in the afternoon……

Once upon a time …….

…… under the settee.

Having decided on a course of action, …..

What is a clause?

A clause contains a subject and a verb that has a tense.

Not everyone agrees with me.

… because I love you.

While she was in the shower ……..

The play represents a revolutionary new approach to drama; however, ….

What is the difference between a clause and a sentence?

There’s some disagreement on the definition of a sentence, but it may be best to describe a simple sentence as an independent clause that can stand alone. A simple sentence is made up of one clause:

She was very beautiful.

A complex sentence will have more than one clause:

She was very beautiful, and there’s no doubt in my mind, she turned the

head of every man that she met.

Dependent clauses cannot normally stand alone, and so cannot be full sentences. They often start with words like this:

Because it was so cold, ………..

While I was waiting for the train, …………….

Although he was ten years older than I was, ……………

If you come in the afternoon, ……………

Something that is not a complete sentence, and cannot stand alone, we call a fragment. We use these all the time in speech, and sometimes in notes, emails and letters, but we must avoid them in our writing. Look at this dialogue:

Where’ve you been?

Out.

Where to?

The shops.

Get anything?

Some milk and cereal.

Any bread?

No. Forgot it.

Conversations are full of fragments but as long as the context or the relationship provides a basis for the words, we understand without difficulty. Some writing can also contain fragments:

Hi John!

Just a note. I’m out tonight. Got a date! Back at 11 maybe. Lock the back door. Don’t forget the cat. Food in the fridge. At the bottom.

See you

Tom

But in academic writing, fragments are certainly not acceptable and you will certainly get marked down if they appear in your essays.

Task

Can you find the fragments in these examples?

• A Black Widow spider is one of the most venomous creatures in the world and one bite can kill a child. Or even a large adult.
• A larger percentage of the population is now following a first-degree course than ever before. Despite the cost.
• Today many people are returning to education after some years of working. Many of them find it difficult. Because they have been away from an educational environment for some years.
• The invaders regarded themselves as superior. While other groups were seen as inferior. The invaders maintained their power by their cruelty and repressive laws.
• This paper will consider two groups. The Arakaw Indians and the African slaves. The former were the original inhabitants while the latter were brought in by the plantation owners.
• The essay will examine why slaves were introduced into the islands. Firstly, by the Spanish later by the British.

Notes on the Task

The fragments are in bold.

• A Black Widow spider is one of the most venomous creatures in the world and one bite can kill a child. Or even a large adult.
• A larger percentage of the population is now following a first-degree course than ever before. Despite the cost.
• Today many people are returning to education after some years of working. Many of them find it difficult. Because they have been away from an educational environment for some years.
• The invaders regarded themselves as superior. While other groups were seen as inferior. The invaders maintained their power by their cruelty and repressive laws.
• This paper will consider two groups. The Arakaw Indians and the African slaves. The former were the original inhabitants while the latter were brought in by the plantation owners.
• The essay will examine why slaves were introduced into the islands. Firstly, by the Spanish. Later by the British.

How can fragments be corrected?

There are two main ways:

1. by adding the fragment to the sentence that it is linked with

2. by making the fragment into an independent clause, in other words, a sentence

that can stand alone

With either of these two approaches, the order of the words can be changed if it the change makes the language sound more academic and professional, but retains the original meaning. For example:

Original sentence:

The results of this research have yet to be published but the impact on the young people is likely to be significant. Whatever the findings of the research.

This example could be corrected in a range of different ways.

The results of this research have yet to be published but the impact

on the young people is likely to be significant, whatever the findings

of the research.

or:

The results of this research have yet to be published. The impact on

the young people is likely to be significant whatever the findings of

the research.

or:

The results of this research have yet to be published. Whatever the

findings of the research, the impact on the young people is likely to

be significant..

Which do you think sounds more professional? In some ways, the final example suggests a more professional writing style.

What changes can be made to these short passages below?

1. A lecture given by John Heath on 23 January at Jordan College, London. In which he talked specifically about the condition ‘autistic spectrum disorder’, provided the framework for this essay.

2. When the students left school they found it very difficult to find a regular job. One with prospects and good pay. Some of them tended to gravitate towards petty crime and general anti-social behaviour. They caused trouble too.

3. Having spent most of his career dealing with young offenders the director of the centre was realistic about his chances of success. Also his ability to solve the problems that they had. The young offenders certainly wanted to.

Here are two possible solutions for each example:

1. A lecture given by John Heath on 23 January at Jordan College, London, in which he talked specifically about the condition ‘autistic spectrum disorder’, provided the framework for this essay.

A lecture on the condition ‘autistic spectrum disorder’ given by John Heath on 23 January at Jordan College, London provided the framework for this essay.

2. When the students left school they found it very difficult to find a regular job with prospects and good pay. Some of them caused trouble as they gravitated towards petty crime and general anti-social behaviour.

When the students left school they found it very difficult to find a regular job with prospects and good pay. The result was that some of them tended to cause trouble because they gravitated towards petty crime and general anti-social behaviour.

3. Having spent most of his career dealing with young offenders, the director of the centre was realistic about his chances of success in solving the problems that they had, despite their willingness to try.

The young offenders certainly wanted to ‘ go straight’ but having spent most of his career dealing with such cases, the director of the centre was realistic about his chances of success.

Task

Remove the fragments from these examples using both methods outlined above with each sentence:

• The city has developed beyond recognition and now the centre is full of theatres and thriving restaurants. Because of the funds that came from the European Union.
• A well-organised paragraph should start with a topic sentence. A paragraph is a unit is a unit of thought. Not a unit of length.
• A safe car will be able to protect the passengers in the event of a crash. It will have seat belts for every passenger. Also side impact bars and an air bag.

• A well-written academic essay will present an argument in a logical way. Also there will be quotations. And clear references.
• Although Woolf wrote some of the most imaginative novels in the period between the two world wars. Her depression and ultimate suicide meant that she never achieved her full potential.
• Now look at the paragraph below and edit it carefully to remove any fragments and make any other changes necessary to achieve a more academic style.

Supporters of environmental groups say that they are trying to save the world. Because someone has to do it. And because it’s very important. Other people say that they use inappropriate methods. And sometimes they use dangerous methods. They say that a solution can only be found by a major world organisation. Like the United Nations. Because the United Nations has the authority. Many people seem to believe that the problems are someone else’s fault. Not their fault. It’s everyone else who is using too much oil. Or too much of the world’s other resources. Like timber and fresh water. People are aware that fish stocks are declining. And there are limited stocks remaining throughout the world’s seas. And the sea levels are rising. Perhaps because of global warming. It sounds like no one is taking responsibility. Or thinking the problem through properly.

Notes on the Task

(a) The city has developed beyond recognition and now the centre is full of theatres and thriving restaurants. Because of the funds that came from the European Union.

The city has developed beyond recognition and now the centre is full of theatres and thriving restaurants because of the funds that came from the European Union.

The city has developed beyond recognition. The centre is full of theatres and thriving restaurants because of the funds that came from the European Union.

(b) A well-organised paragraph should start with a topic sentence. A paragraph is a unit of thought. Not a unit of length.

A well-organised paragraph should start with a topic sentence because it is a unit of thought, not a unit of length.

A well-organised paragraph should start with a topic sentence. It is a unit of thought, not a unit of length.

(c) A safe car will be able to protect the passengers in the event of a crash. It will have seat belts for every passenger. Also side impact bars and an air bag.

A safe car will be able to protect the passengers in the event of a crash because it will have seat belts for every passenger as well as side impact bars and an air bag.

A safe car will be able to protect the passengers in the event of a crash. It will have seat belts for every passenger as well as side impact bars and an air bag.

(d) A well-written academic essay will present an argument in a logical way. Also there will be quotations. And clear references.

A well-written academic essay will present an argument in a logical way with quotations and clear references.

A well-written academic essay will present an argument in a logical way. There will be quotations and clear references.

(e) Although Woolf wrote some of the most imaginative novels in the period between the two world wars. Her depression and ultimate suicide meant that she never achieved her full potential.

Although Woolf wrote some of the most imaginative novels in the period between the two world wars, her depression and ultimate suicide meant that she never achieved her full potential.

Woolf wrote some of the most imaginative novels in the period between the two world wars, although her depression and ultimate suicide meant that she never achieved her full potential.

• Now look at this paragraph and edit it carefully to remove any fragments and

make any other changes necessary to achieve a more academic style.

Here is one suggested approach:

Supporters of environmental groups say that they are trying to save the world. They say that someone has to do it and it’s very important. Other people say that they use inappropriate and dangerous methods. They say that a solution can only be found by a major world organisation with authority, such as the United Nations. Everyone seems to believe that the problems are someone else’s fault, not their own. Everyone else is using too much oil or too much of the world’s other resources such as timber and fresh water. There is clear evidence that fish stocks are declining and limited stocks remain throughout the world’s seas. The sea levels are rising too, in part because of global warming. It is clear that no-one is taking responsibility orfully analysing the problems.

Run-together sentences (or run-on sentences) are examples of sentences that should be divided up but have been written as if they are one sentence. Look at these two examples. Why do we describe them as run-together sentences?

Foreign direct investment can help the development of a country it can also provide employment.

An essay should always contain quotations that help to support your argument they will also show the marker which books you have read.

They are described as run-together (or run-on) sentences because in fact they are both made up of two sentences. They should be divided up in the following ways:

Foreign direct investment can help the development of a country. It can also provide employment.

An essay should always contain quotations that help to support your argument. They will also show the marker which books you have read.

We can correct run-together sentences in several different ways.

1. We can use a semicolon if the sentences are not too long. We can also make two separate sentences.

The markers will always have expectations of an essay writer’s work; they will expect the writer to follow certain conventions.

2. We can join sentences using a conjunction like and, but, so, or, yet, for.

Our ability to write good essays will go on improving if we learn to plan carefully and give ourselves time to draft and re-draft our writing.

3. A word such as because, although, since, so that, whereas can be used to begin a dependent clause that cannot stand alone.

Since the death of her daughter, she seems to have been walking in a fog.

Some countries have a long history of stability and peace whereas this is not true in some other countries.

4. We can use a linking word or phrase (however, nevertheless, in addition, for example, on the other hand, moreover, therefore, consequently, in contrast) to make links between independent sentences.

Many students want to write good essay that gain high marks but they often go about it in the wrong way. For example, they start writing the essay two days before it is supposed to be handed in or, in some cases, even the night before.

There is no doubt that the education system has greatly expanded over the last few years. However, we must not be complacent about present standards.

Task

Do any of these sentences need to be corrected?Some companies believe that the quantity of sales is the most important thing the quality of the product is seen as less important.Many Tanzanians work far from the town or village where they were born they retain close links with their home and always try to build a house there for when they retire.A high proportion of accidents in this country are caused by young males between the ages of 17 -28 the concept of careful driving is not understood by many of them.Many people say that completing a PhD successfully involves 90% effort and organisation and 10% talent however this is also true of many other achievements.Some people are obsessed with work they are sometimes called workaholics and they work 12 – 14 hours every day.If you want to write a good essay you must check and re-check your writing many times without this process of careful editing you will find it difficult to hand in a good assignment.

Notes on the Task

(a) Some companies believe that the quantity of sales is the most important thing the quality of the product is seen as less important.

Some companies believe that the quantity of sales is the most important thing. The quality of the product is seen as less important.

(b) Many Tanzanians work far from the town or village where they were born they retain close links with their home and always try to build a house there for when they retire.

Many Tanzanians work far from the town or village where they were born. However, they retain close links with their home and always try to build a house there for when they retire.

(c) A high proportion of accidents in this country are caused by young males between the ages of 17 -28 the concept of careful driving is not understood by many of them.

A high proportion of accidents in this country are caused by young males between the ages of 17 -28. The concept of careful driving is not understood by many of them.

(d) Many people say that completing a PhD successfully involves 90% effort and organisation and 10% talent perhaps this is also true of many other achievements.

Many people say that completing a PhD successfully involves 90% effort and organisation and 10% talent. Perhaps this is also true of many other achievements.

(e) Some people are obsessed with work they are sometimes called workaholics and they work 12 – 14 hours every day.

Some people are obsessed with work. They are sometimes called workaholics and they work 12 – 14 hours every day.

(f) If you want to write a good essay you must check and re-check your writing many times without this process of careful editing you will find it difficult to hand in a good assignment.

If you want to write a good essay you must check and re-check your writing many times. Without this process of careful editing you will find it difficult to hand in a good assignment.

Here is the first paragraph of a student’s essay. Read it though carefully and decide whether it is a competent piece of writing.

This essay will examine a number of issues relating to the growth of communism in China since 1900 and its later-day decline. In particular, we will explore the neo-feudal system that excited before 1900 and how the grow of new China was closely linked with the spread of communism the reasons for the failure of communism to achieve it’s aims will also be explore.

I hope that you spotted that there are at least four spelling mistakes and two major punctuation errors in this introductory passage. Even if the students used a spell-checker this would not have helped. Why not? Read the notes:

Notes

There are a number of mistakes in this paragraph. The spelling mistakes would not have been picked up by a computer spell-checker because they are all valid English words, even though they are being misused in this context.

• latter-day
• existed
• growth
• missing full-stop between communism and the
• it’s should be its
• not explore but explored

A reader, faced with a piece of writing like this, would immediately get a very poor impression of this essay, whatever the content. From the very start, the writer would be heading for a low grade and this would be hard to overcome. The first paragraph is particularly important because it gives the reader the first impression, although every sentence in the essay is important in its own way.

There is no doubt that accurate spelling and correct punctuation are very important in setting the general tone of your writing. The marker will spot any difficulties in these areas immediately and will, mentally at least, begin to mark your work down if there are too many errors. There is a very close correlation between accuracy in these two areas and your overall mark. A fluent, academic style of writing will invariably be accompanied by good spelling and punctuation; the reverse is almost always true as well, and will pull down your marks.

Task

Look at these sentences. Is there anything wrong with them? Would you like to make any changes?

1. I saw her in the morning she left her house at 10 oclock.

2. I like George in some ways unfortunately his eating habits put me of.

3. The teacher looked at her and said, ‘Your not working hard enough.’

4. The Birmingham Area registers about 70% of all patients in the UK

each year many of them are concerned with electronics.

5. I liked that film we saw last night and Lucy did to.

6. Albert Thomas 1932 – 1993 wrote some intresting guide books they demonstrated a wide understanding of these areas..

7. It was a hot humid day and he was sat down reading a book when his sister Tracy came to visit him she was sweating a lot.

8. She said that, 21% of students in the university were from the city.

Notes on the Task

1. I saw her in the morning. She left her house at 10 o’clock.

2. I like George in some ways. Unfortunately, his eating habits put me off. (or: I like George. In some ways ……. . Also note the spelling of the word off.)

3. The teacher looked at her and said, “You’re not working hard enough.”

4. The Birmingham Area registers about 70% of all patents in the UK each

year. Many of them are concerned with electronics. (Note the spelling of

patients/patents)

5. I liked that film we saw last night, and Lucy did too.

6. Albert Thomas (1932 – 1993) wrote some interesting guide books.

7. It was a hot, humid day and he was sitting down reading a book when his sister Tracy came to visit him. She was sweating a lot.

8. She said that 21% of students in the university were from the city.

Although the use of commas might appear to be a small matter, in the context of a formal piece of writing they take on greater importance than normal. In this section we will look at the rules for their use.

1. We can use them to separate two independent clauses that are joined by words like and, but, or, nor, so etc.

The climb was hard and tiring, but the women were determined to get to the top.

The men packed up their bags and their tools, and the timber was put away.

Practice:

• The weather was bitterly cold. The woman’s car had broken down. She was far from a town.
• The storm was severe. He didn’t expect to survive. Somehow he managed to survive.
• It was a long walk to the next village. It was wet and cold. They hoped to arrive before dark.

2. We use commas to separate a dependent clause (introduced by words like as, because, since, when, after, while etc.) from a main clause.

As it was still raining, the game was postponed. (dependent clause followed by main clause)

After retiring, he started to write his autobiography. (dependent clause followed by main clause)

Practice:

• She was exhausted. Her husband carried her rucksack.
• She graduated in August. She’s been living and working in Geneva.
• She had a headache. She stopped work for a while.

3. Commas are used before an afterthought, or after an introductory word or phrase.

She held her tongue that time, thankfully.

However, many writers (Smith 2001; Jones 2005) questioned this view.

Practice:

• Before I had time to think he had come back.
• Nevertheless I’m confident that we’ll do better next year.
• Despite the lack of positive evidence this approach has been proposed by several academics (Hughes 2003; Lucas 2006).

4. They are used to enclose an extra, inessential element that interrupts the flow of the sentence.

My brother was, in some ways, the cause of his own problems.

She was, as far as I could see, the most talented artist amongst them.

Practice:

• The car or rather the remains of the car rested at the foot of the cliff.
• The shaky boxer once so fast and strong shuffled along the corridor.
• The results based on this evidence strongly support Liu’s theory.

5. They are used where we use an appositive phrase (i.e. an appropriate phrase) or add further information about an individual or an object.

The fastest driver, Jim Clarke, was first to pass the chequered flag.

John Stone, a living legend, was reduced to begging in the streets.

Practice:

• Ms Green the chairperson of the board refused to countenance the idea.
• The winning ticket holder a poet from Ashdon used the money to buy a new computer.
• The data collected by Ashworth the foremost expert in this area did not support the theory put forward by the research study.

6. To separate elements in a list.

The refugee group was composed of people from Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Russia.

Practice:

• He lives in Paris shops in London and holidays in Spain.
• It takes a long time to plan draft rewrite revise and finally to present a good essay.
• The research study collected the data analysed using the chi-squared formula and applied it universally.

7. After time phrases

At 2 o’clock, I got up and left.

At exactly midnight, she left the dance.

By 2006, the evidence was overwhelming.

By the time of his retirement, he had established an unchallenged reputation in this area.

8. To balance contrasting phrases

She might change her car, but never the colour.

He might look, but he won’t be able to touch.

The analysis was carefully conducted, but the result was the same.

The same data was re-entered and analysed in a variety of different ways in the hope of finding a contrast but the results were the same.

9. In direct speech

“It’s very cold,” she exclaimed.

“I’ll always love you,” he said.

The crowd waved their fists and cried, “No surrender!”

The candidate stood up and said, “Ladies and gentlemen! I’m asking for

your support!”

10. To avoid ambiguity.

As well as the hammering, rain was also falling noisily.

Outside, the car park was full.

I’m sick, and tired of reading this book.

I’m hot, and bothered about what to do with the children.

11. To show that words have been left out:

Cooked food is preferred by the majority; fresh food, by a minority.

Car travel is the preferred option; train and bus, the main alternatives.

Abstinence is encouraged; drunkenness, abhorred.

A hat is accepted; a full headscarf, preferred.

A semi-colon [;] is a bit like a ‘soft’ full stop; wherever you can place a semi-colon, you can also place a full-stop. The writer may decide to use a semi-colon when there is an extra piece of related information to give to the reader which is closely related to the sentence before, and which the writer feels does not really require a sentence of its own. It is, in other words, used to join two parts of a sentence that could otherwise be left as two sentences.

It is very important to note that a semi-colon can never be replaced by a comma but this is often an error that writers make. In the two following examples, we could not use a comma:

I looked long and hard for the right material; nothing else would do.

The whole team was looking exhausted; Maria was clearly showing the strain.

A semi-colon can also be used for complicated lists, in collaboration with commas. For example:

The research study explored a number of geographical areas: the southern parts of Wales, Scotland and Ireland; the northerly tip of the Hebrides; the most north-western tip of France.

A colon [:] is used to introduce a list, just as in the sentence above.

There are a number of possible solutions: medical, herbal or alternative.

The research team visited several sites: Larkness, Coaster and Ariemes.

A note on the use of however.

The word however is commonly used in academic writing and it is important to remember how it is used.

At the start of a sentence, it is normally followed by a comma.

However, Johansen’s later research was more productive.

When the word however appears in the middle of a sentence to introduce a contrast, it must follow a semi-colon and it must be followed by a comma.

The data suggest that foreign direct investment can have a significant affect on local industry; however, further research will be needed to confirm this finding.

The pattern of canals across the country provided a cheap and effective way to transport heavy goods for a hundred years; however, the development of a railway network would change all that.

1. Multi-word verbs: Consider this passage and then re-write it making
changes where necessary

Coal is expected to continue to account for almost 27% of the world’s energy needs. However, awareness of pressures on the environment is building up and people have caught on to the need to achieve sustainable development in energy resources. The way in which the resource is extracted, transported and used is now seen as critical.

A wide range of pollution control devices and practices have been set up at most modern mines and significant resources are spent on coming up with new ways to rehabilitate mined land. In addition, programmes are currently being dreamed up which will be able to lead to efficiencies and reduce emissions of greenhouse gases during coal consumption. Such measures are helping coal to keep up its status as a major supplier of the world’s energy needs.

The coal industry has been got at by its critics as a significant contributor to greenhouse warming. However, the greenhouse effect is a natural phenomenon involving the global surface temperature going up due to the presence of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Without the greenhouse effect, the Earth’s average temperature would be 33-35 degrees Celsius lower. Life on Earth, as we know it today, would not be possible. Nevertheless, despite its historic value, greenhouse warming and rising temperatures are issues that the world’s population need to urgently deal with.

Notes:

Coal is expected to continue to account for almost 27% of the world’s energy needs. However, awareness of pressures on the environment is growing and people are now aware of the need to achieve sustainable development in energy resources. The way in which the resource is extracted, transported and used is now seen as critical.

A wide range of pollution control devices and practices have been installed at most modern mines and significant resources are spent on establishing new ways to rehabilitate mined land. In addition, programmes are currently being devised which will be able to lead to efficiencies and reduce emissions of greenhouse gases during coal consumption. Such measures are helping coal to maintain its status as a major supplier of the world’s energy needs.

The coal industry has been criticised by its critics as a significant contributor to greenhouse warming. However, the greenhouse effect is a natural phenomenon involving the global surface temperature rising due to the presence of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Without the greenhouse effect, the Earth’s average temperature would be 33-35 degrees Celsius lower. Life on Earth, as we know it today, would not be possible. Nevertheless, despite its historic value, greenhouse warming and rising temperatures are issues that the world’s population need to urgently address

2. There are a variety of other factors that also characterise formal academic writing. Have a look at these sentences and underline those elements that reflect an informal style and would need to be changed in an academic essay,

1. As soon as you start to look carefully at social service provision in the community, you frequently find evidence of abuse.

2. The advisory panel set up by the government couldn’t establish the cause of the disaster and in the end no blame was attached to the actions of the pilot.

3. The invasion of the island resulted in misery, starvation, destitution etc for large numbers of the people in the area and in addition the ruling party was unwilling to ask for aid.

4. This proposal creates a way for raising awareness in the UK of effective approaches to combat poverty practised by overseas partners.

5. The evidence produced at the enquiry was very damaging for the Prime Minister and anyone could see that he felt uncomfortable.

6. 1 believe that without clear leadership from the United Nations, we are likely to find ourselves in a similar position next year.

7. It is obvious that the decline of fish stocks in the North Sea will ultimately result in significant environmental damage in that area.

8. They found evidence of a fight when they studied the ancient body and they wrote a report which reflected their findings.

9. The results of the government study were great because they enabled the university to fund the new department.

10. It is certain that the new financial regulations will lead to a significant growth in output.

11. The research proves that drinking high levels of vitamin C may help to ward off colds in the winter.

12. The research was rigorous. But the way the results were used was poor. Few financial managers were trained in the new techniques. Little progress was made despite the hard work of the specialists.

Notes

1. As soon as you start to look carefully at social service provision in the community, you frequently find evidence of abuse. (generalised use of you)

2. The advisory panel set up by the government couldn’t establish the cause of the disaster and in the end no blame was attached to the actions of the pilot. (use of contractions like couldn’t, can’t, isn’t)

3. The invasion of the island resulted in misery, starvation, destitution etc for large numbers of the people in the area and in addition the ruling party was unwilling to ask for aid. (use of etc/and so on/ and so forth)

4. This proposal creates a way for raising awareness in the UK of effective approaches to combat poverty practised by overseas partners. (meaning totally unclear)

5. The evidence produced at the enquiry was very damaging for the Prime Minister and anyone could see that he felt uncomfortable. (avoid use of expressions like anyone could see)

6. 1 believe that without clear leadership from the United Nations, we are likely to find ourselves in a similar position next year. (use of I / we / ourselves)

7. It is obvious that the decline of fish stocks in the North Sea will ultimately result in significant environmental damage in that area. (avoid use of expressions like itis obvious)

8. They found evidence of a fight when they studied the ancient body and they wrote a report which reflected their findings. (the passive voice would be more appropriate)

9. The results of the government study were great because they enabled the university to fund the new department. (inappropriately informal language like great)

10. It is certain that the new financial regulations will lead to a significant growth in output. (it is certain is too strong)

11. The research proves that drinking high levels of vitamin C may help to ward off colds in the winter. (proves)

12. The research was rigorous. But the way the results were used was poor. Few financial managers were trained in the new techniques. Little progress was made despite the hard work of the specialists. (short sentences and no linking expressions)

Task

Rewrite this passage in a suitably academic style. When you have finished refer to the feedback. Your re-written passage does not need to be identical of course, but it should reflect an academic style.

The island was discovered in 1734 when a storm blew Sir Peter Newsbury off course and he stumbled upon this bit of land which no-one knew anything about before. Some excavations which have been carried out within the last ten years show us that members of the crew built houses to live in, and got through the very cold winter. Analysis of the soil in and around these buildings proves that the people liked to eat fish and fruit that they picked from the trees. However, despite the food that they had, it’s obvious that their life was quite difficult because of the rocks and open ground and so on. People carrying out research have found debris from the ship close to the buildings. They have come up with a number of explanations for the smashing up of the ship but once you look at the waves you can see how dangerous the waters are in this area and there are lots of rocks and reefs and things like that.

Notes on the Task

The discovery of the island was made in 1734 when Sir Peter Newsbury was blown off course and chanced upon the undiscovered island. Excavations carried out within the last ten years indicate that crew members built houses to live in, and succeeded in living through the very cold winter. Analysis of the soil in and around these buildings suggests that the crew survived by eating fish as well as fruit that they picked from the trees. However, despite the availability of food, the evidence indicates that their life was difficult because of the rocky and exposed landscape. Researchers have discovered debris from the ship close to the buildings. They have proposed a number of explanations for the wreck of the ship but coastal tide patterns indicate that the sea is dangerous in this area and there are many submerged reefs.

Before you start writing you will need to ensure that you understand very clearly what the question is asking you to do. Once you’ve done that, you can start your planning. Remember that your plan need not be slavishly followed as your ideas may well change to some degree as you write your essay. As you read more widely or discover unexpectedly rich sources of information, you can modify your plan. This might happen several times before the essay is ready to hand in.

It is often very helpful to brainstorm ideas before you build a structure into your essay. Brainstorming involves writing down all the ideas that you have in your mind concerning one particular topic. They should be written down in any order, just as they come into your mind. Many students find it helpful to brainstorm by writing the topic in the centre of a large piece of paper and then placing around this central word/theme/topic a list of words/topics that they believe might be appropriate. This is a task that you will do at the very early stages of your writing and while some of the ideas you note down at this stage will be central to the essay, others may be discarded at an early stage. This is quite natural, and a part of the whole process of brainstorming. Having gathered together as many points as you can, your next task is to link them where possible, and provisionally order them into a coherent structure.

The essay plan

Having put together as many relevant ideas as possible, the next stage is ordering these points in an appropriate way. The important thing is to try to build up a coherent picture of your essay so that you can use it as the foundation for your writing. Your plan may be modified and developed as you proceed but the important thing at each stage is to focus precisely on the essay question and try to ensure that your essay plan provides a logical response to the needs of the task.

An academic essay is likely to be divided into three main sections:

• an introduction
• the body of the essay (a number of paragraphs exploring the topic)
• a conclusion

The introduction and the conclusion are likely to be moderately short, while the main paragraphs in the body of the essay are likely to be similar in length. There might, for example, be two or three paragraphs to a page. If one paragraph is noticeably longer or shorter than others, it would be well worth re-examining this paragraph. It may need to be divided in two if it is too long, or expanded if it is too short. It would be very unusual for a paragraph to be only two sentences. A paragraph should never be merely one sentence in an academic essay.

It’s very important to make your plan before you start to write. Try to express each point in your plan simply and clearly in note form. This will help you during the writing process. Look at this example:

Topic: The pros and cons of tourism in Tanzania

Thesis Statement: Tourism in Tanzania is valuable, but only if it is properly regulated and monitored by the central government.

Paragraph 1: A brief outline of Tanzania’s history.

a) independence in 1964; President Nyerere

b) self-reliance; Ujamaa

c) economic difficulties in 1970s

i) low primary product prices

ii) high price of oil

Paragraph 2: Government control of tourism is not a success.

a) government lodges

b) game parks

i) numbers of tourists

ii) poor service

iii) financial losses

iii) attitudes of local people

c) competition with Kenya

Paragraph 3: Economic reform in the late 80s brings about change.

a) the growth of private enterprise

b) the availability of foreign exchange

i) national funds

ii) international funds e.g. IMF

c) the expansion in foreign direct investment

i) foreign funds

ii) foreign companies

d) an increase in collaborative ventures

Paragraph 4: The growth of tourism has brought some benefits to Tanzania.

a) foreign exchange

b) employment

c) opportunity

d) reduced isolation

Paragraph 5: The growth of tourism has had a negative impact on Tanzania in some ways.

a) the growth of unsuitable hotels

i) cultural clashes

ii) limited local employment

b) a small increase in local jobs

i) low skilled

ii) poorly paid

c) an increase in exploitation; pandering to western needs

d) additional damage in the game parks

e) a low percentage of tourist costs being paid in Tanzania

Conclusion: Tourism needs to be fully exploited in Tanzania but it can only bring significant benefits to the country is if is carefully regulated by the government. Unless this is done, the tourists will exploit Tanzania, and then move on to new pastures, leaving a poorer country behind.

Task

Study the essay questions below and then prepare an outline plan for each one.

1. “The privatisation of the underground system in London cannot be defended on either social or economic grounds.” Discuss.

2. ‘The establishment of cycle paths throughout our towns and cities should be a priority for this government.’ Evaluate this statement.

If you are reading this, you are likely to be a student in a college on an undergraduate or post-graduate course. You may be a native speaker of English or English may be an additional language for you. When preparing your essays, you may have found difficulties with self-expression, essay structure, paragraphing, referencing, writing a bibliography and even punctuating correctly and this may have veiled some of your good ideas. You may not have achieved the grades that you hoped for. When your essays were marked you may have found comments reflecting the marker’s uncertainty about precisely what you were trying to say.

• You need to think more carefully about word order.
• Check your punctuation in this paragraph.
• This sentence is not clear.
• This is not academic language.
• Is this relevant?
• Reference?
• Is this a new paragraph or a continuation of the last one?

Sometimes you may have been unsure why your lecturer has made a particular comment in the margin of your essay.

If you are in a college or university and you wish to improve your academic writing, skills and achieve higher marks in your assignments, you may need to work carefully on some or all of the following areas:

• your basic writing skills
• planning your writing
• paragraph writing
• structuring your writing
• run-together sentences
• sentence fragments
• sentences, clauses and phrases
• making links in your writing
• writing in a formal style
• punctuation
• summarising and paraphrasing
• quoting, referencing and plagiarism
• parallelism and consistency
• preparing a bibliography.

If you wish to achieve high scores in your course, you will need to be able to:

• plan your essay
• write a good introduction with a clear statement of intent
• structure your essay clearly
• write paragraphs with clear topic sentences
• write grammatically coherent sentences
• use an appropriate academic style reflecting the conventions of academic writing
• use appropriate academic vocabulary
• punctuate your essay correctly
• write a good conclusion.